My Heart is Semi Conductors

i keep putting shit off and i have no idea why - is it my subconscious mind telling me something or am i just fucking lazy. question the universe YO. i think anyway. i have no idea where this is going or even started i was all trying to be smart and philosophical this morning but that never fucking works for me, my god my website is called pottymouthpappy i mean you don't come here to read me talk about how big my fucking brain is (my penis maybe) but wow wrong turn Clyde...... boredom is what does us in - you ever notice when your bored that you end up doing things you would never normally do especially if you have been bored all fucking day and unmonitored - things get fucking weird i tell you they get weird, if you question this go to tinypic.com and go to new images hit refresh a few times and you will see exactly what i mean. motherfuckers in this world are fucking BORED, crappy myspace graphics, cock shots, piercing things, bad skate tricks, gross humor, and BOOBS freakin everywhere (i love this site) god i am fucking all over the place today but yeah looks like everyone else is too... now time to take pictures of me smoking pot with my penis out and post it on tinypic.com

the connection to STEVE

"Man, c'mon, I had a rough night and I hate the fucking Eagles..."

lets taste some of that history

today kind of has this calmness to it - quiet = its quite nice (check that shit out two fucking q words in a sentence) how queer. im having a very tactile day (now how fucking art fag does that sound) okay so a tactile day in pottymouthpappy land would be like mmmm i am touching myself more than usual which is a lot = i mean a lot - i am having this overwhelming urge to mount something and i have already packed up teddy so i was about ready to fuck the box he was in but i couldn't find that either so i looked up the build a bear website and that was like WOW i mean legs and arms oh my. OOOHHH YEAHHHHH, damn that screen cleaner is cumin in handy.. (GET IT GET IT GET IT)


part of my horoscope today : im in a sharing and caring mood today
Don't worry if you have a difficult time staying focused. Enjoy the warm fuzziness around you.

tac·tile
–adjective
1. of, pertaining to, endowed with, or affecting the sense of touch.
2. perceptible to the touch; tangible.

wow that kinda made me tingly down there

wow this like moving away thing sure does mean a lot of free food, its been fucking awesome the last couple of nights. people been taking me out or cooking me dinner - MY FRIENDS FUCKING ROCK HARDER THAN AN 80's METAL BAND DOUBLE BILL - ahhh yes... last night jamison and tim cooked it up big time, it was so damn good i hurt all night long, i even got some left overs, to go with my other leftovers from walter and sasha they fed me sketty on friday night and damn was it good - then speaking of 80's metal bands walter and i played multiplayer guitar hero and we rocked the fucking roof right off the joint, it was so awesome, all the cats worshipped us, or just couldn't quite figure out what in the fuck we was doin. anyway its been a good weekend, even my hangover today doesn't hurt all that much, its a good day to be slow and retarded... tonight i will take it easy - hot tubbin + playstation later + music downloading and updating my playlists (this takes a few hours you know) maybe some masturbation in there too just for good measure nothin like a lil beef strokmeoff

dog guarding vespa (time for toast)

- "Wow! i always thought i would be a great backup dancer, i mean really thats kind of a cool name"
- "Yeah I'ma backup dancer. what do you do?"
- "Well um yeah i work at Melvins we don't really do much dancing there, i wear a red smock and stock shelves and smoke pot in the meat freezer sometimes i dance there but no we don't like dance dance. Wow i so want to do that!"
- "You should backup dancing is the shit, i don't like being the main dancer but backup dancing is where its at."
- "Wow could i like come over sometime and you show me some moves and we can like dance the night away n stuff and show me how it all works in the world of backup dancing."
- "Oh yeah man no problem, not this week though i am doing an off off off broadway production thing, nothing too big like a 20 min routine, but we get to improvise a little so its cool, i play tree #49."
- "Man that is so fucking cool. I so want to be you. DAMN! Well man i got to go back to the cooler. Talk to you soon.
- "Yeah man for sure, Until then keep on movin."
- "Hell yeah i will" (dances off)

we are a waitin cum shots desktops

my fingers hurt (not from doing that - from typing) i need to go take some photos today or something i am feelin that need to create something its kind of like a nervous tick i have to go do it, that and i saw this wall yesterday that was beggin for my attention and a line of random numbers - i always wonder how many people actually notice this shit. what do normal people do when they walk around (not pay attention to the stuff around them) its weird - its the little details in life that get me all excited and you know me I AM EXCITED EXCITED i need pom poms and a little skirt oooh yeah a little skirt and sometimes when i do that one cheer i won't wear underroos BOING!!!! GO TEAM GO

It Shall Become

whats better than best? whats greater than great? HOT WINGS from the peanut (downtown location) i normally hate hot wings and well won't eat them but for some reason them bioyytches from the peanut are so tastey i find myself craving them. MOfuckin crack in a box, i just wanna rub the sauce all over me. Anyway if you can't tell i went to the peanut last night after working for a million hours on a mockup - i was feeling like a house elf so i decided it was time for some Jupiter like chickens dewinged and deep fried and soaked in the best sauce jesus and mama luck luck could come up with. Of course lots of beers go good with this and then the company of friends. And since i hadn't seen christofer in ages i gave that bitch a call since he like lives three blocks away n all, and we met up there and dranked i ate (he doesn't eat jupiter chicken or any chicken as a matter of fact) it was good - good to leave my house - good to walk someplace and stumble home - good that my fingers STILL SMELL LIKE CHICKEN WINGS mmmmmmmm breakfast. btw i refer to them as jupiter chickens because the fucking things aren't normal size - not what a normal person thinks of as wings - these things look like they came off a cow or something the size of one 3 of them babies and you are full its so great - wow i want some more - nah not really i just am excited about them YEAH, that orangey red sauce mmmmmmmmm - damn i might just have to go masturbate (being sure not to get any of the sauce or residue on the sensitive skin of the weena) don't you hate it when you shave and then you accidentally miss a spot but you fail to notice until like your gone from your house - thats the coolest - i like to accentuate that and pretend i did it on purpose making a facial hair statement looking like an art school kid YES thats me. No its not. Okay i have said enough now and that goes for you too. Pissfartfuck just in case...

if your having a bad day your stooopid

its monday
its cold
its snowy
its grey
IM HAPPY
why i have no fucking clue
friday i hated
today i love
weird
so how are you today
i fucking woke up smiling and laughing and really as much as i drank last night i should have been hung over - i know im not still drunk because i stopped drinking at like 10pm. i was watching football with ian, which again is out of character for me, anything that involves balls besides my own is not something i am usually into - but last night when he called - i was like ok i haven't left my house since friday and i could use a beer or six and some good old bar food. btw today is a great day for the crane wife - makes me feel like a pirate arrrrrrrrhhhhh. i am going over apartment listings for brooklyn park slope to be correct i swear new yorkers speak a different language especially when it comes to apartment listings, like everything else they do they are listed fast super fast in like a freaky kinda new york shorthand so what you have to do is kind of imagine yourself as a new yorker (drink lots of coffee and put on a leather jacket) then it will just pop in your head what all this stuff means - its nuts i tell you nuts, speaking of lots of coffee i am drinking some of atoms brew that he brought me - i like this stuff because the roast date is on my birfday - i mean how could coffee roasted on the best day of the year be bad, can you tell i like it - can you - can you - can you - YEAH - ok so at least giggle to yourself while you think of me in my apartment staring out at the city while i type this (in my undies) i love working from home for that reason but otherwise i do not like it... ok so giggle a little maybe a lot maybe pee yourself a little = do something stupid today - its monday a new day BYE.

welcome to the show i hope you know

so i have decided that pottymouthpappy will have his very own etsy store so i can put up some of the silly art that i make (while i poop) i like to draw on the can not the actual can but you know while i am in there - plus my bathroom is like awesome so its kinda inspirational - makes me want to write top40 hits and wear fur coats - its that kinda bathroom - then you too can own a piece of the potty - not just my potty but my potty mouth too - i will be sure to put a fuck or a shit or some shit on everything i make and sell - we can put all this money in a big pile or wait we have a goal of $1000 to spend it all on candy YES eureka we've got it ART 4 Candy Project - i fucking love it more than mongolian horseshoes (which by the way you have to sit on the ground legs spread while the other guy tries to hit your nuts with a horse shoe) once i am done with all these post it notes i will make a collage and that shall be the first thing up for sale - i am brilliant i tell you brilliant i should really get paid to do this kinda stuff (but most of the time i hide from the people i work for) can you guess WHY

webisodes

seems since i don't live in canada i can't watch degrassi webisodes - dammit i was all set to watch the entire 6th season but NO, now i have to go like buy it or rent it or something like that, im sure its on itunes and thats the reason i can't watch it for FREE, damn it i am moving to canadia free health care no war free webisodes its time... i have this huge pile of post it notes on my desk and on the wall next to my desk, a lot of it stuff that only i would understand - tim was over the other night and he was looking at them all then he was looking at me then back at the notes, then he was like.
tim: "um, pappy are you allright?"
i was like.
pappy: "other than the fact that i am taking these weird horse pills that make me want to drink like 9 gallons of water a day, yeah im good"
tim: "what's all these freakish notes, the strange numbers n stuff."
pappy: "oh that stuff, those are little ideas that pop into my head, the numbers are photos that i need to edit or look at again."
tim: "oh i see, i thought you might have lost it there for awhile, i mean more than you already have."
pappy: "nope i am not completely gone just yet, i have been looking for a new set of jammies though, ones with the feet, i could wear those like daily."
tim: looking at the notes again seeing the one that says jammies w/ feet "oooookay....."

warm balls

you ever wondered what a $1000 worth of candy looks like, i have , i contemplated this the other day while i was at the gas station buying a candy bar (then dropping it for mitch - candy tastes better when it falls for awhile) anyway so i was like wow i wonder how much candy i could get for like $1000 and then i could like pour it all over my bed then invite chicks over and we could rub ourselves crazy with it and eat it all until we got like super sick or went into sugar shock. so i decided before i die i will buy $1000 worth of candy just because and not like the christopher elbow stuff which is good but that would not really be a lot, i mean the cheap shit, like go to the bulk store or halloween the day after n shit, oooh or easter then you could have a peeps pillow and cadburry eggs (mmmmmmmm) im so going to leave the house today and get some of those - btw its FUCKING COLD in kc today like 13 or something - ok thats me for the morning - don't forget to drop your candy and keep your balls warm (if you got em, if not keep that other thing warm)

MLK Day

i hope everyone celebrated by not working
giving it to the man
i put on a skirt dawned and accent and challenged everyone at the bottom of the hill
i knocked a bums tooth out
then i put it back in
kinda
i dented a taxi
then ran
my sword has no insurance
i hiked my skirt and pissed on a bus
it was a great day
martin would have been proud
the bum was white

Hi i Think i Know You

so i slept until like 3 today it was nice, i don't technically have a job right now, so i am taking advantage of the time off, plus im on a round of drugs that just make me tired anyway (i hate being sick) so for the last week i have been doing lots of sleeping and sleeping and playing playstation and watching netflix rentals. i would have to say its been nice - a personal nurse would have been better but you can't have everything - unless you pay for it and well i don't really have a job at the moment.... i start on tuesday (still not sure when i move)

Iphone is MyPhone

all i really have to say about the new iphone is that its fucking awesome, im not one to gadget whore but i think ima have to get in the iphone line or the iphone bus or whatever it is cuz that lil bitch looks awesome, just in case you live in a cave with no digital cable access (go here)..

now onto other news, i have made up my mind about the job and i will be taking it and leaving here in a month or so, no dates have been set but its too good a job to pass up, plus its in new your city

its not been found

finally its cold outside, not like super cold but something that resembles winter anyway. tired of this fake winter stuff, its messing with my head, well that and not really having a job oh yeah and still being sick i mean what is with this sick i mean its been like 10 days now, just fucking GO AWAY, god i feel like a 8th grader all pinned up in my room yelling at my mom through the door, just GO AWAY.... sniff sniff sniff.... at least i do feel like doing stuff today - the last few days ive just wanted to lay in bed and sleep and play playstation or watch tv (movies - my antenna sucks) i also will be glad when i can stop taking these cold sick drugs, man they make me think some weird shit, im still under the impression that sudafed is the devil, that shit is like being on trucker speed, no sooory i don't have time to snifffle im too busy dusting, huh, what.

so i was thinking today i would go to the library - i live right the fuck across the street from it and yet i have never been - how fucked up is that - hell my building is called the library lofts (wait i just told you were i lived now you can stalk me and toss my salad) ok no i don't live there but yeah stupid of me huh

Someplace only you can GO

so no i still haven't made up my mind yet still thinking it over, still driving me mad but i think thats a good thing. so for tonight i will just continue to play bully and listen to music and lay low cuzzz i still be sick sick sick... damn tired of this crap

i kissed a boy - i kissed a bully boy

so in my crazy sick head i stayed up too late last night playing bully but it was fun, i found out there is one of the bullys you can actually make out with and it increases your health (same as a girl) but this guy is usually in your dorm so you don't have to go as far to find a girl and find one the will make out with you, so instead you kiss this bully and he's like in love with you now so you no longer have to fight with him its pretty great, i have to admit i was mildly amused and aroused by this new feature (i can't wait until the religious groups get a hold of this) god damn gay video games - making out with boys makes you stronger. well other than all of that i would have to say its a pretty fun game so far, i really really liked halloween night that was completely awesome, smashing pumpkins, egging people, pulling pranks, feeding dogs rotten meat so they will make big nasty poos so you can use those, i must say its been fun...

ok on to other news - if you do see me in person please don't ask me what my decision is (not until monday or so) that being if i am going to take this job and move to new york city, im still figuring it out in my head, if tho you do have a good reason for either like pappy you suck and kansas city will be glad to be rid of you - please feel free to comment - or if you've been wantin to have the sex with me, now might be a good time to throw that out there :D, ok im off to go make out with more boys to increase my health and hopefully get rid of whatever sickness it is that i have today - you chumps have a good one

and what will happen to you - you say

im so tired of snot i could kill you and it - my nose has been like this constant stream of snot for the last like 4 or 5 days - sick is stupid - snot is stupid (im sure its not stupid and serves some purpose other than clogging up my sleeves and making my pockets fill up with nasty Kleenexes. btw this is pottymouthpappy comin at chu from laguardia airport i just paid 8 bucks to make this post - these cheap fucks don't offer free internet - fucking hell i need to get into this bidness charge all these cocksuckers 8 dollars to use the internet for one day, this is how much i love you america or well my audience i love you like 8 fucking bucks i love your harder than 8 fucking bucks, i just paid 8 fucking bucks to say hey FUCK YOU....

they got TOdd

dont you hate it when you take vitamins all day and then when you pee its like super yellow like worse than mt dew yellow, its kinda of scary really - (i got kinda sick in cville) and now i am trying to fix myself before i get on the plane to nyc tonight. so yellow pee n all im goin on a jet plane and gonna get a jobby job :D