Lifeboat

im ready unemployment
im ready unemployment
(sing that like spongebob)(you have to dance around a little as well)
so yes it is finally halloween. i want to put on a costume and go get candy, i mean really when did they install the whole age thing why can't adults go round to other adults houses and get like free beers n stuff, i think when i own a neighborhood i will install a new rule, kids, then adults, then after you make the rounds you make the rounds again for sexual favors, now thats what i call a holiday. of course then the baptists and other jesus lovin bible slammers would get wind of it claim us to be HEATHENS then move in on our children. GOD I LOVE THE SENATE. I had this crazy wild dream last night, for some reason i was playing with these big ass snakes (no this has nothing to do with latent homosexuality) so anyway this big fucking snake bites me on the elbow on one of the scooter scars, i can't remember who is there with me some snake dude though, this snake starts sucking my blood and im just looking at him, i poke him in the head asking if thats all he's got, he just keeps sucking my blood. Im like snake dude is this normal, i didn't realize snakes sucked blood, i thought they just like 'injected me with poison' - he was like well this is a special bread they suck blood. so i was like so is this thing going to kill me, and he was like nah prolly not but it will stop after like a quart or two, im like dude thats a lot of blood, he was like yeah you might pass out, so im like uhh fuck that. i poke the snake in the eye, he doesn't budge, i grab hold of his mouth and start prying but this fucker has ahold of me good, i start wondering if i was a snake and i was ticklish where would you tickle me at, they have no arm pits, no arms at that matter but they do have one great big ass belly so i start to tickle its belly, then he finally lets go but starts hissing at me all crazy like, i stop and he moves for me again wrapping himself around me so i can't move, plus its like a dream so like i can't move my legs anyway, so this snake is now in my face, i close my eyes waiting for the bite then the weirdest thing happens, he starts licking my forehead, its the weirdest sensation ever but kind of nice, relaxing, its like someone is stroking my forehead, for some reason i wake up for like real and my forehead is all tinglin, i felt like harry potter it was cool... wow such an elaborate set up just for that

The Magic Pumpkin

ive never really understood comment spam, it kinda cracks me up, it kind of reminds me of when i first got the internet and chance and i would sit up late in my dorm room drinking cheap wine and talking shit in chat rooms - that was great fun - thats pretty much how we spent the entire winter

Lets Bring Back Postcards

i think as a group as a generation we should bring back postcards, the kind you actually send in the mail

im in the business of doin business

this mornin on my way to work (im in the business of doin business) cougar dan hit me up on the cb radio to ask me about any smokies comin up and asked me ifn i wanted a muffin, i was like sweet a muffin, so i slowed the trans am down a little letting my hair blow in the wind, its awesome my hair that is all the ladies think so, that and they love my trans am, i get more pelt than a trading post, it is a great day i must say great day, then i spot this hot little number in a wedding dress on the side of the road, she is hitchin, so i puller on over and offer her a ride, she jumps in and imidiately starts talkin about how sexxy i am and how sexxy the TA is, (they don't call it a TA for nothin folks), so she breaks down to her undies and i pull the t-tops out, its gonna be a wild one folks a wild one, then the cb radio goes off is cougar dan we got smokies, so we start doin like a 155mph and she goes off and starts givin me a hummer its awesome, after i get the all clear from cougar we pull it on over to a truck stop, i need a slim jim and a root beer she wants some freetos, in the parking lot we start goin at it then this old couple starts watchin us takin notes for what they can do when they get home later it was pretty great, she ate her freetos then got out said she had to go get married, i cbd cougar dan told him i would be at work in a flash and 198mph super fast no smokies and here i am, slim jim in hand....

brown leafs yellow leafs orange leafs

i love those days when i sorta accidentally fall asleep when i get home and i end up sleeping until like 9ish. last night i woke up about 9ish or so - made some dinnah then read and listened to music for the rest of the night it was great, downloaded some new music from emusic so that always makes me happy. sofar everything i got last night has kicked much ass this morning...

SEXUALLY EXPLICIT : Hot teen babe playing her tight ass

Did i ever tell you how much i like spam headlines, they crack me up. So i decided for some crazy reason today that i was going to ride my scooter to work. It was like 40 degrees but i made it the whole 20someodd miles or however far it is out here. I do miss working a mile from my house i got to sleep later and didn't have to worry about angry morning drivers. I think as a whole people need to chill we are all going someplace. Word my hippie words of wisdom for the day. So today is the day that 31 years ago my mama shot me out. Pretty amazing huh. Shortly after cuss words started coming to me, then i wrote them on the crib walls with poo out my diapers, shit in shit that is so cool... For my 7th birthday i got this really cool gijoe tent and a big gun little gun knife 3 grenade set, it was so cool. The tent was like an indoor thing so i set that biooytch up in my room and if you got too damn close grenade out the window to you my friend. I set it up in the yard too, i was determined to actually spend the night in it but like its kinda cold in october so i made for a little while, plus it was plastic and had no floor so it got colder quicker, but damn it was cool. My ma outdid herself that year, i didn't see that one coming, usually we would tell her what we wanted but that year BAM kickass tent and more guns and grenades than you could shake your stick at. It was awesome. A few days later i packed up my tent and an army blanket and went down to the hill that overlooked what we called the war fields (artillary and mobile artillary practice grounds) coolest place in the world for a 7 yr old. This particular day it was a busy one, tanks all over the place, helicopter landings i think hell i don't know i have seen a lot of movies since then but i do remember all the explosions and guns goin on left and right and i watched a lot of it through the window of my plastic tent. It was awesome to say the least.

the light creeping in the windows

friday night was great - went bar hoppin with good friends - ate some chicken wings (that are forged in hell i tell you hell) yes they was that hot.. fuck it.. ok friday after work i went home and watched wife swap for like 2 minutes then diceided tv was stoopid about that time my phone started ringing it was tim telling me to go to the peanut, so i was like FUCK YEAH id rather clean my neighbors house instead of watch anymore wife swap, so i went up there him and daniel and paul was knee deep into a few pitchers of the beer so i joined in then it became a contest, well not really but tim and i won, paul and daniel pulled the sonya card. after 8 pitchers gone we headed to another bar chez charlies (darts n smoke) only stay there for one round because its so damn smokey, next the blarney (bleerry) stone (my new favorite place) 5 dolla monkey pitchers and a juke box which you actually get to hear what you play, plus they have tony danza (tiny dancer) tims favorite song, its pretty cool how quickly you can empty a bar by playing the gayest shit on the juke box over and over again... there we had birthday shots and then the ladies showed up to escort us to yet another bar the quaf (sp) there we ate some food then i walked my happy little ass home watched about 10 minutes of shop girl and was off to la la land......

FUCK YEAH I GOT IN

so i think for halloween i will be the jesus suicide bomber that would rock the cross right off my back, porn star jesus would be cool too, or my favorite saved by the bell jesus, all dressed up in 80's clothes bein all cool n shit... yeah i think i will do that. yes i am 8th grade controversial, wait that should be like a tv show, i could host it, i could write it, i could be that kid in 8th grade with the beard - sweet this is gonna happen happen happen...

Commodore Rock My Love Sock

i woke up thinking i was a crane and could move buildings, i even made the crane noise when i brushed my teeth, and when i got naked to shower, and when i was rinsing i became a motor vrooom vroooom, i was still running late despite my antics, but i got super clean... i want to wear a hooded sweatshirt and play in the leaves, but i don't think they are ready yet, a few more days, turn the timer back on, i like ornch leaves they make me happy and smile, we got nice fluffy clouds today too - nice think green grass ahhhhh nap time in the yard YO.......

The best midget sex site!

i've never really been into sports, i played a little when i was younger but i kind of sucked, soccer i played goalie because i was the tallest i got to play sweeper once in awhile but i was never a forward, only got to score a few goals because i was never allowed up that far, i was a better defender, actually i don't even think i was that good, my mom says i never really paid much attention, and she would scream at me when the other kids got close so i would know they were coming, now that sounds more like me, watching the planet roll by while the rest of the people are playing a game. i played baseball a few times, then for some reason in the fifth grade i wanted to play really bad, i wanted to be on a team for some crazy reason, i thought it was the answer to all my questions, um it wasn't really, i got put on the lamest team possible, they hated me, i hated them, i got to alternate right feild with the rest of the kids that sucked it was a great season, i was done with team sports after that, oh yeah i some how or another got hit by a pitch and broke some fingers that was the real end of the season, wow the lengths i go to to get out of shit. so yes why am i talking about me being a jock or lack thereof, i went to the bar last night to watch the cardinals game with ian, jason, and tim, and by god it was fun, maybe i just needed beer as a child or something to make this shit more fun, i can't actually say i will watch another game or even care if they win, but it was fun last night... to those of you who made fun of my girly like throw FUCK YOU and yes i still throw like a girl and i run like one too but i do have a car and i will run you the fuck over

I AM THUNDER CRACKER

hear me ROAR..........

ok that makes sense to like 3 people on this planet but dammit its fucking funnier than balls on walls. so i watched hostel late last night - it was gross but not all that gross i wasn't like gagin or anything but i wanted to see more - the whole puking while getting cut on and chopped on wasn't all that cool. im sure one of these places exist someplace and i sure hope i never get there, but if i do - - - - wait what the fuck am i talking about - torture - shit we all i know i would scream like a little girl and cry for my mommy while i shit and pissed my pants, thats a pretty accurate description i would think... yeah its torture tuesday bitches so yeah...

wow i can't leave you with that image or maybe i can oh well

SmirkFest

i sitting here staring at this box, wondering what in the fuck to say today, really im just tired i like the fact that its raining but it also makes me tired, i hate the fact i have to drive further to work now (GODDAMMIT WHERE IS MY JETPACK) fuck i will even settle for a hippogriff. Hook that shit up george bush, oh yeah i don't take no oil or start no wars and kill muslims then he ain't gonna have no part of it. its too early to be political - its too early to be awake - fuck its almost 11 brb need more coffeeeee...
quick weekend recap
friday
drank too much
got crazy
acted like complete and total reatard
IT WAS FUN
saturday
slept
birfday party
scooter riding
birfday party
ENTER THE PIT BITCH
nipples
good food
good music
HATERS
strawberry soda RULES
sunday
computers
computers
bad canadian movies
masturbation
NIPPLES
great dinner

fall back in

trying to figure out what i am going to do this evening, part of me wants to just sit around the house and work on projects and sleep because this kid is tired and i know i will be gettin crazy on saturday night at da brifday party - so i think that pretty much settles it - i ain't doin shit tonight - clean the house - maybe go and try and find the perfect chair - setup my corner of production, i need a smallish table for the painting supplies and all that other crap i keep piling there, i now have a scooter in my living room and its most awesome - maybe soon i will have 2 in there - where my small frame at... i thought about getting a cool couch n stuff but i was like why spend money on a couch wehn you can get a cool small frame instead - so if you comin over bring a foldy chair...

BE like a normal MAN

its a good thing our stoopid american culture never had anything as cool as say the pyramids to take care of because we would have tore those fuckers down to make strip malls just so we could have muffins in the morning. i love it to death death death... i want a bird thats afraid of heights.... i think those are called chickens..... haha ahah i made a joke i made a joke i make you laugh i make you laugh out loud LOL.... one of the coolest things in the world happened to me yesturday but i can't tell you because i dont want to jinx it but its cool and would make me very very very happy and it really has nothing to do with lube and my left hand so forget about that one. you people are so fucking predicktable its scary.. now get back to work all of you... btw the band in all these shots is Great Dane good stuff kc band - they will be playing tonight w/ No Man No at the News room so check that shizzle.

Oh, you are not able to control your feelings!

i really didn't do anything interesting yesturday - for real... and no really crazy dreams... had a nice quiet evenin - talked to my mommy and my daddy made some dinnah watched some aqua teen and worked on some websites then read and went to sleep - oh yeah in between aqua teen and beer i went to the hot tub... i am trying to find something to do for my birthday which is in like 13 days i was thinking like chuckie cheese or lazer tag or just going to the bar and gettin super drunk but i don't know - i want to go someplace but its going to be at least 2-3 months before i can leave town - any ideas LMK YO - i could do like a weekend trip - anyone know any trashy motels in the ozarks or something like that

New Location

takes longer to get here... ummm the coffee is about the same... the coffee mugs are the same size, actually they are the same ones... word...

so last night this dream i had was just fucking weird, i was with a group of friends we were at the Nelson Atkins (art museum here in kc) in the yard playing and drinking nothing to out of the ordinary. Very similar to the night daniel broke. So a huge party starts up at one end, the people are all dressed weird, i don't think much about it just thinking maybe its Shakespeare in the park people or ren fair fags. So we follow, we get a huge jug of wine fo free when we get up there and this weird flyer thing written in like harry potter script on parchment as they say, well turns out we are at a sacrifice, sweet, a real life human sacrifice, the main dude comes out with horns on his head and a microphone and sings a song something like whitney houston or something just completely and totally out of place it was the greatest part of the dream. so he dorks out and goes into detail about how this building was set up with the moon and the sun and pluto and when they perfectly align the light will bounce off all the art in the yard and then land in the middle of the giant pond bath thing they just built. We drank our hug jug of wine and this guy went on and on about the gods and sacrifice and how he wished he would have bought google stock. Well turns out the night was all wrong after all and they had to postpone the sacrifice for another 129 years, by that time all the lawyers shall have the legalities all worked out. No one was really all that mad i was kind of glad no one died and we got another huge jug of wine. So time to find something else to do, we all began walking and walking and walking all the buses kept passing us by completely filled with renfairfags - then we saw the sign 1.25 pizzas - like the whole pizza - we b lined it to that place and freaked because there was no one there, so their pizza must just be horrible or something, what drunk would pass this place up. We got in line and made our orders and then on the table i found my green pen..... then my alarm clock went off...

the martin rule

and we begin in OP today

You'd Better Be There

if you don't come to my show
its the SLEEPER HOLD for you

Salt is the new Sugar

i have nothing much of interest to say today

oh yeah
dont forget
tomorrow night

[surface deep]
photography by
patrick andrew adams
www.aptrickphoto.com

opening night : october 6th 2006
hosted by
habitat shoe store
1800 baltimore ave
kansas city mo
816.421.5444
hours m-sat 10a - 6p
www.habitatshoes.com

show info
pappy@aptrick.com

Golden Cage - fighter - pilot

i think i am tired

if you was gonna help hang photos tonight
it is moved to thursday night - - - -

bleep bleep

Golden Cage - fighter -

if only

i could give birth

Golden Cage

i wanted a nice quiet weekend and baby i got it.... ahhh it was good, friday went home and got drunk watching 'green street hooligans' then went to meet tim c. and jason davis at mo's place of work, down the street from my house i walked its cool - she made me drink coffee and they laughed at me - it was pretty early and i was purdy drunk. after they closed we took off to the peanut joined now by lindsey and her boyfriend i think dave but im not sure on that one. peanut means WINGS WINGS WINGS especially if you are with tim him and winston love some wangs. i drank pepsi and ate wangs with tim then everyone got drunk and i got sober and it was fun. i walked home and started reading (too much caffine YO)... saturday was good i felt fine good thing i worked that hangover off, there is something to be said about drinking early. Saturday was a work day for me i am working on the pictures for the show, that and i did laundry, then went to the river market to get some veggies and look at strange food in the asian market i love that place it just smells funny.. i wanted some kimchi but i didn't have enough cash on me (i should do that today) [yes i realize how boring this blog post is i am making an effort here to make myself sound more human as opposed to super human pottymouthpappy jesus give me a chance] so once i got back i made a huge pot of butter and all my ladies came over and we played butter ball - it was to say the least fucking slippery awesome fun... after they left i knocked a hole in the ceiling found a nice loadbering pipe and hung myself with a leather belt i got at the thrift shop... soon i will kill grass again... (the last part was for robin, not the butter yo - i do know how you like a good stick of butter but the other part) heheheheheheheheh if i was five that would be me gigglin