Jeez Louise

you
look
like
a
monkey
and
you
smell
like
one
too

What we found in the WOODs

its supposed to be 1000million degrees outside this weekend, i am looking forward to that really i like to sweat, i like my pants to get wet, i like my undies to get wet, oh wait i don't wear underwear or undershirts that stuff is for plebs.... it seems myspace myplace is having a hard time today, earlier i had no friends, which is really nothing new and all but then everyone i thought i knew disapeared, then i did... i wonder if they are trying to tell me something, like if and when i go outside everyone that has a myspace account has dissapperated into thin air.... gone... bye bye... well you all were great so sorry you had to dissapperate so fast, oh and don't be peakin in my bedroom at night.

holy shit i just found TWO BUCKS in my shorts (what the hell did i do last night?) whatever i did i got TWO BUCKS

Beautiful Boys Gave Chase

i love it when people threaten me with lawyers, if you ever catch yourself doing that let me know and i will come kick you... FUCK LAWYERS IN THE ASS... sorry not all of them but damn near most of them, for one you bastards charge way too much two you think your above the fucking law because you have a degree in it three your the fucking reason my insurance is so high - bitches.... anyway done with that rant... so fucking sue me....

things to keep a lookout for pappy
volvo wagons i love the 240s
also 180ss vespa (yes i do need another)
fucking mothers (not mine) but you understand... judy never reads this anyway, i think one of my brothers might catch it once in awhile but i don't see any of them being regulars to the potty. one they are already fully aware that i am full of shit and talk too much shit and thats about all i do anyway so they are prolly tired of it and glad i moved so far away from them.

things in my life i no longer want
cds (jesus i hate these things)
vhs tapes (take them please)
dvds (i don't care to watch them anymore)
3/4 of my clothes (i need to go through them)
i need just one computer

ok so if you want my stuff and have either plants furniture or old art supplies mainly being paint and brushes give me a holla i like a good trade

Little Traces of Blood Were Detectible

im not sure what to think today... a little on the tired side a little on the why do i do this side and little on the you know i should be serious today for a change, i read other peoples blogs some good some bad some just downright strange... its hard for me to care that much about politics, celebrities, or puncuation and grammer. i would rather just make fun of myself and drink nice cold beers in the hot tub and wait for daniel and bob to get it on so i can run the video tape feed to every room in the building, now that seems so much better.

so last night i got drunk opened all my shades in my room laid in the floor and watched how all the lights of the city bounced around my room all the while listening to led zeppelins song remains the same it was actually quite a nice night...

What is a Pisser??? SUCKLING

i used to have a magnetic belt, it was the coolest thing in the world, i had a matching vest too, it did not have magnets on it but it was cool... i would put my pistols on the magnetic belt and i felt kinda like the sheriff with my vest then i would put my big red rubbers on (those are water boots) perverts wtf is wrong with you = come here to this respectible website and what to hear about stuff like that. fuck you - i was 4 at the time i be speakin and i wasn't much into the masturbation back then one in awhile i would touch my turtle but it was mostly just a aiming device for where i was gonna piss, and if you was a bad injun then i might tie you up to a tree and piss on you, no i wasn't that mean of a kid - - - i just liked dirt alot

put him out of my heart

im trying hard to be productive today but i am so damn tired, i have a million things to do though... and all i can think about is going swimming.


i hate where things are right now
not knowing
wha wha

A Peice of brain in my hair

im
still
working
on
that
so
no
idea
yet

Get a huge mountain in your pants with Penis Enlarge Patch

so i am confused here, do you put the patch on your penis or do you put it on the person looking at your penis so it just looks bigger to them or does it like go on your coat like a merit badge so when you walk down the street people see that and are like wow great penmenship and a huge penis im gonna fuck that guy. it also comes with a quick release belt knotcher and condom dispenser but who uses those things babies and diesesesese are so fucking backwoods rare anyway, i like the dirty stingray... its my corvette summer baby... oh yeah i am back to drinking coffee again and i threw my fucking cruches out the window so i just wrapped my ankle/foot in duct tape and i am like so ready for the chearleading competition you just would not fucking believe it, i even shaved my balls so when my skirt flys up its at least pretty to look at and it might help us get extra points, that and my huge penis patch, we are so winning regionals.....

other news my insurance man currently hates me - they are trying to figure out how and the hell i did that much damage to a scooter and i am still alive, i told them it was all good until the last flaming hoop was a little too high, insurance people have no sense of humor...

Now I am covered with BLACK Paint

just step on me and get it over with :D

take me fucking home ALREADY

can i just tell you how much i hate fucking cruches they suck ass. i would rather someone just drag me across the floor. i got more scabs than a mofucker anyway another 20 won't hurt. yes can you tell my pain meds have run out today therefore i am writing again therefore i am not missing sitting in my bed with the ac turned down to 63 gigglin at how the light comes through the shade and how my bed is a boat and my cruches are the paddles and that i just decided to float for awhile fuck that paddeling shit i need a slave to do that... im lazy and the stars and the moon look really cool coming through coming through, my treasure box contained dr pepper and mud pies ONLY nothing else maybe some stale pretzels but they are driftwoood... it really is quite amazing how fast the days go by and the medicine bottle empties they need to make those things so they aren't addictive and so they don't ummm cost a lot of money and so i don't have to have some dude who went to college for a real long time write me a note to get them.... yeah that would be awesome then you too could come for a moat ride... my mo moat mo moat mo moat ride..... yah...

ok back to the normal world the pills are all gone and i am back to work - - - by the way cruches suck

bunny hop

hipppity hop
hipppity hop
hiphopannoymouse

oh the birds oh the birds

i need some satellite dishes up in here and lots of coaxial cable then maybe some lunch meat then we could get down to bidness, and that bidness would be to monitor and slowly take over the krispy kreme franchise, i think i could do it, my horoscope told me i could so like i think i can do that, even though sometimes i don't like to wake up early i bet though i could get my mom to make the donuts because she likes to get up early her and my dad both so like they make the donuts for the regular people in the morning and then i will make the donuts for the stoners and hopheads at night, god this will be so awesome i can't fucking wait until scooby comes back on - fucking commercials they suck, i mean for real how many different cereals does a kid really want and fucking toys these days are so fucking lame, why does everything have to have a lesson - fuck you and the later day saints and their homosexual sensative action figures with matching socks and backpacks and miniture tea set complete with hand woven tea cozzies, i mean who comes up with this shit, oh wait we can't give him a gun because the stupid little rat bastard who is playing with this might just eat too much of the sugar infused cereal pop 7 more of those anti hyper pills his mom has him on drink about 7 mt dew jrs and fucking pop the lock on daddys gun safe, so there fore he needs tea cozzies so instead he will sit around all day with sharp needles watching desperate housewives then slowly stab himself to death after of course making one really bad afgan the size of a fucking napkin, but as long as it homosexual sensative, yeah use that to clean the cum out of your ass, oh wait i can't say that, oh wait i can, i did, oh wow look at me and jesus go, gihad gyrations are his favorite..... now for the nails

them two is trouble

at least the hammering has stopped. they are digging for gas lines outside of building today, its cool to look in the holes they are making you can see the layers of the city, and the past, there is a layer of gravel, 2 layers of brick, and then about a foot of asphalt and concrete, the dude said sometimes you will have 4-8 layers of brick especially in the older parts of town. thats cool... excavation, i bet hoffa is in there too. sometimes its hard to find quiet, i have been drowning it out with credence and the cure there is a homo mashup for you. im sorry but i hate those things, not all of them but the ones i am forced to hear all the time, its like bad editing, fucking hell it was all done 10 yrs ago in the techno world remix of a remix or a remix, if i remix a remix does that make it normal. WORD.

what do you say?

sometimes computers are too smart

no one really knows anymore....

somepeople just like to make things difficult - those are the people i choose not to talk to anymore.

i was going to talk about something else today then my computer crashed then i got sidetracked and that reminded me of people who sidetrack me all the damn time. but yeah back to the main thing i was gonna post about.

so daniel and i started out riding in the rain yesturday one because we was bored two because he wanted to ride his new bike (cfmoto250) i think is what the official name of it is - its unofficial name is the Dirka Dirka GiHad 3000 - (btw k/half noise by MUM = the shit) so anyway we ride around for awhile in the rain then shoot some pics and try to find the perfect alley because well it seems like i have hit every damn one of them in kc, so back to downtizzle, we decide to go up north a bit just cross da river and play there for awhile, lots of loading docks and things of that nature, so we ride around there for awhile, the sun is comin out, and its warmin up, we go up to waterworks park look out over the city then just start driving, before you knows it we are pulling onto the main street in parkville, which is a cool street if you have never been there looks like a lil european town - i bet they watch the footboll there and race through the countryside - so parkville just blows on by and we just keep on rollin, we are a modern day version of easy rider on chinese and italian bikes or scooters if you want to get all technical - anyway we end up in weston mo which is about 45-50 miles from where we started out, thats a side note to all the other side notes btw so we drive around weston for awhile which if you haven't been you should go its a very cool lil town rich with history and brick buildings and boogans in big trucks who just can't quite get over the fact that you rode a scooter here from the BIG CITY... we find what we is looking for gas first then the underground bar O'MALLEYS, we have the beers and a sandmitch, then have some more of the beers, then listen to some bagpipes which sound awesome in an underground bar - the cool thing is NO CELL PHONES work down here. now to get home, which we have to make like 900 piss stops but it was damn fun i tell you damn fun

WATERWINGS

god volvo wagons are sexy. i have decided i no longer want my car i want a volvo wagon. why i have no idea, i was driving one on my dreams the other night, so therefore i must have one now. thats the way it works with me, still need that red scooter too though. it will happen soon, and i mean soon...

so how is your life today
mine = im tired today, after 4 days with my nephew in town i be worn out. worlds of fun, every mall in town, royals games, fireworks displays, more malls, lots of driving, going to the movies, i haven't done this much shit in a year. its fun though but makes a old man like me tired... and i am currently rethinking that "i want 10 kids" statement i made awhile back.

now off to the zoo

hippos eyes

    "Sorry about the mess, but its summer and well I am a kind of a slob." I grab the underwear, and ball them up as quick as I can and toss them into the far reaches of my closet, this is when having a real bed would come in handy, I could just kick stuff under it. "I was supposed to get new furniture months ago. I have been living out of these boxes since May."
    "I was going to say it is kind of empty in here." She walks around the room picking up things and examining them. It’s weird when someone who has never been in your room before reacts. I feel like I need to explain things to her so she can understand them better. "What’s this?" She holds up my tattered stuffed hippo.
    "That’s Cletus." Note to self hide Cletus next time you invite a girl up to your room. I can almost see the smile on his face because he knows what is coming next.
She gives him a little kiss on his nose. "Cletus huh?"
    "Yeah. I know it’s a strange name for a hippo but it just sort of fits him. Look deep into his button eyes and tell me he doesn’t look like a Cletus." She holds him out and gives him a good looking over. "Hey are you trying to seduce my hippo?"
    "NO!" She smiles innocently, and so does Cletus, he will pay later.

and its back to work WITH YOU

worlds of fun tonight if anyone wants to go let me know....


OUT