clap your hands say IM TIRED

today i feel old







how about you???

Expecto Patronum

last night was a great night to ride + drink

Plainsong

hard time making up my mind what to listen to today. ok her space holiday will do for now. its hard to decide what the first cd of the day is to be, it kind of predicts which way you are going to go the rest of the day. you start off to fast by the end of the day your angry and listening to drum n bass and bangin down coffee left n right. so you have to find the right space, too slow then you tailspinyourself into the weird electronic section and space out all day long... i do that alot... this just might be one of those days, oh well fuck it.

where do you stand?

today just feels like its a special day for some reason, no idea but it just does. maybe i am going to get laid today, but i doubt it. you never know though. it could happen. so i got these flight coupons for my birthday last year and i am trying to decide where to go. don't really need sunshine i just want someplace to relax and shoot lots of photographicas. today is a creedence day, tim would be proud. i have no idea what the temp is today but like a loon i rode my scooter today - frozen is like the best way to wake up but it was almost too damn cold actually it was too damn cold, the last time my penis felt that small i was an infant.... major shrinkage... like you want to hear about that. i don't care though :D at least i don't talk about how big my poops are or give you a step by step hour count down of my day like some of the other blogs i read out there, if i have nothing interesting at least i have the creativity to just make shit up.

damn damn leash

it was nice taking a few days off, from this, from work, from life. i had a night filled with crazy dreams = here pull up a chair i will share them with you. for some reason i was a gijoe (i imagine from my 3 day stint playing call to duty 2 on the playstation) anyway i was a gijoe, not so much in uniform but ya know i like to dress how i feel. so i had some vans on with my camo pants (i don't actually own any vans these days just when i was a tot) then i had this really cool shirt on it changed colors n stuff was kind of like an invisibility cloak (yes i am a dork). but i also had this gun thing and so the mission starts out... i have this camera with a hella zoom lens and i think i said that too "this thing has a hella zoom lens on it" there were some other people with me but they had like muck on their faces because we was doin some recon (even though i am sure my non matching outfit stuck out of any jungle) but hey they was digitized so they didn't see me. so i was taking pictures of all the shit we was gonna have to blow up and the people we was gonna have to shoot. the bad guys looked like a cross between russians and chinese so obviously all that anit communist propganda i was fed as a child has done something to me. ok so as i am taking pictures i make sure to take one of myself thinking this will look cool on myspace. yes this really was part of my dream. so we mount up and get all ready to kick some ass, we rip through this little village in about 2 seconds. as soon as you shoot someone they fall to the ground then disapear so you don't actually have to clean up the mess or have a reminder of just how many people you just killed. i wonder if this happened in real life if the murder rate would be absolutly nuts, it could never be proved though, motherfuckers would be disapearing left and right. after we take control of the village we get note via text on the screen that we have had our mission updated. suddenly a silver mini van appears drivin by none other than data from the goonies movie. "come on you guys get in the van" "gotta go set some booty traps" the van is some early 80's toyota thing, very angular and funny as hell. somehow we all get in and data drives us to the next mission, where the overlord or underlord or whatever lord you want to call him is torturing people and just being an overall asshole to the world. so we roll up data hits all these buttons and shit flies from every corner of this van killing all kinds of mofukas, but as soon as we all get out more people show up, im like damn if this was a real fucking game there is no way you could win, so i figure i am going for the numero uno and gettin the fuck outa here, data can take the rest, booty trappin them bitches. so i start shooting at the main dude he looks like a cross between uday hussain and ali g, a little bar pops up over his head to tell me how much more i got to shoot him. he is tuff takes like an hour of me jumpin around and shooting to kill him but soon enough he is vapour, then i realize i have to go grab the case and the special weapon. i grab em and run.... but when i look down the case is actually a bomb with a timer on it... its counting down fast- there is no way for me to disconnect it and i for some reason don't chuck it, i just sit there and stare at it, at this point i know i am dreaming so im like fuck it lets see if i can actually blow myself up in my own dream - - when the clock hits zero my fucking alarm clock goes off. now how is that for timing. weird shit i tell you weird. anyway have a good monday and don't get caught up in no booty traps

here comes alice

Hello

one day soon i will have something to write about, until then i got nuttin...





:D

spinny thing on top

so im kinda happy now - the other day was the first day of spring. even though it snowed it was just like saying hey umm winter is over with officially. i like that thought.

sideways gangster grip

if i had tits i would have a picture of them on myspace






Dictionary.com Word of the Day - aubade: a song greeting the dawn.

Dictionary.com Word of the Day - megalomania: a mental disorder characterized by delusions of grandeur.

its time to piss

i love those days when i can spin around in circles and then get dizzy and not know whats up or whats down its great - then of course you fall down. put up the orange cones fuck sally in the ass and call her maggie. the rain it falls today and i hate it, i hate it, to fucking death
- - - - -9
- 09 llk
alkj ;a ijf
a i klekls
those are cordinates taht i am sending to the terrorists via my blog, i communicate with them now directly since kitty kitty has moved out. i hear she is working on a plan to take down all the crop dusters and kill all vets who remove kitty balls (she hasn't had a right good fuck in ages) all those fucking unik kittys out there. anyway the dirty bombs are in the midst of being cleaned so when we explode it won't be near as bad.

StakeOut

i watch you from afar
thats safe for me
thats safe for you

wha chu gonna do

i see jesus in the light. do you see him there. i have no idea what was going on with my brain yesturday. i got up didn't shower and just went to work - blank. i sat here all day - blank. went home napped for way to long - blank. got up and made a nice fancy dinnah went to the atm because for some reason i decided i needed cash today for what i still haven't figured that one out yet. maybe i had made some plans i didn't know about not for sure. after i got done eating an all that shit i sat on my bed and watched goonies for awhile - then i was like "what the fuck am i doing" i finally woke up a whole day of - blank - it was weird for me. i jumped on my computer and instantly started talking shit to people and listenin to music, goonies playing away in the background. so the few hours i was actually alive yesturday where good. just have no idea where i went on my day vacation, all i know is when i woke up i smelled like sweaty balls, i hadn't showered in 3 days. Im all clean today and all here. now you think i am nuts... oh well i got a vacation and didn't even have to take one.

5th most popular

who are you again?
wait who am i?
and where am i?
it supposed to be a nice day today
but i wouldn't know
this is strangly random but so is life

tastes like apples

my eyes are dry... the sun is shining - its not warm - but its not cold either - somewhere in the middle - like ME. my water is sparkling. plus orange tea isn't all that good. i didn't want to get up this morning - i don't want to be awake right now. work is slow and boring - i want to sleep- i am listening to the pixies - that is kind of exciting i think. i am writing in blog style can you tell. its no wonder people think blogs are boring. people write like this all the time, mentioning things they did or saw or what COOL music they are listening too. come on people spice it up a bit, don't be boring like this orange tea i am drinking. so what is up with tea anyway, its like water with a hint of flavor, what the fuck is that all about. fucking english they have no idea what a drink is - earl grey tastes like ass water. take note bloggers put some cuss words in there too and nasty descriptions and make your penis like 4x bigger than it really is. internet chicks dig that kind of thing, of course when you go to whip it out on the webcam make sure you have the prostetic dong ready to go. i have a black one, so chicks think i got some soul brother in me. that makes me hump the webcam harder, and type in all caps. ita amazin i tell you amazin. better than fried chicken on friday. i just wish my government check would get here, damn the irs is slow - gimmie my motherfucking money already damn. bush prolly used it on some bullets he shot through some poor iraqi kids head just so he could watch him fall to the ground, and giggle, that stupid laugh of his. i bet his dad then took about 9 viagras and fucked the hole in the kids head. yeah that was alil gross but so are the bush's. they suck worse than a broke jawed icelandic hooker.

I NO Longer BELOng to U

so if you lined up two yellow school buses on the edge of a cliff and filled one with regular kids to moderately excelerated kids and filled the other with special children then you pushed both buses off the cliff at the same time, would they hit the ground at the same time or would the bus filled with special kids slam into the earth a few seconds later because they are SLOW.

now that got you thinking didn't...
1. hmmmm i wonder if that is true.
2. damn pappy is a mean motherfucker.
3. if pappy ever procreates they will be so fucking retarded he will need 7 red wagons to carry them all around in.
4. its monday

i plead insanity


so if i lined up two very sharp #2 pencils right next to each other then slammed my head into them, one going in each eye, which one of the pencils do you think would penetrate that part of my brain that makes me think like that. of course i would not be able to tell you because i would be blinded in the process but i think it might be a worthy expedition.

now to sharpen the pencils... its a shame no one really uses real pencils anymore, of course im sure the fucking woodchucks are happy but for real. what do they clean up all that puke at elementary schools with. hmmmmm... i should make a pencil shavings substitute... insta puke... instantly hardens puke and permeates that great bleach/amonia/pencil shavings smell into the air.

chia head

and a good morning to you sir... some mornings i can read the news headlines but most of the times i can't. anymore all it is is believers of this god killed believers of this god. so my theory here lets just get rid of all gods - there done, now we can all get along, of course people will find something else to divide themselves by and hate and poke at the other side until once again they are siding up and blowing each other up. great world we live in. no wonder i don't read the news. morons doing moronic things and killing people they've never even met, all in the name of a god they've never met. now how fucking smart is that. and people call me crazy. so no wonder i don't like to leave the house. i sit at home and play simulation games where i kill people i don't know - TRAINING they call it. im good too. if there was a god like a foreal one i would have some caffine sittin in front of me right now - hey fucker i said RIGHT NOW.... see i told you so...

post

day one of no caffine - huh? what? yes i said no caffine no sugar no fun. so far i am still sleeepy, but yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.... just as fucking crazy... i think these next few entries will be short...

It is YOU

killing brain cells... i always love those threats as a kid, you will kill your brain cells. i think we need meters on our heads just so we can tell what we got left so we know when to stop "killing them", then we would know when to say when or what really does kill them. we used to play the pass out game take 10 deep breaths then someone stands behind you and picks you up giving you a nice tight bear hug in the process, so basically what is happening is your not taking in air and you pass out... its coool... you wake up in the yard a tingly and weird its like a time slip - its great. so one night we are all in the front yard playing the pass out game (all the neighbor kids are there) my dad walks out side doesn't exactly freak but he sits us all down and we have to listen to a lecture on airflow and how cutting air off to the brain was BAD and you KILLED BRAINCELLS when you did that. So that was pretty much the end of the pass out game for that night anyway.

oh balki - you so funny

too many waves out here in space. some reason i keep jumping networks. damn thses yuppies that want to live downtown that don't know shit about securing a wireless network. im trying to convince the boss boss man that we should just leach off the yuppies now. they can pay our internet connection. last year at this time there was 2 wireless connections here in this area, both secure and belonging to us. Now i when i hit the view wireless connections in your area its like every single loft in that building behind us has a wireless connection and not a damn one of them secure. Get smart people. One motherfucker get a connection and the rest of you leach its that simple. People are just too damn honest sometimes.
the picture is me 15 paul 16 we is goin to the prom. i didn't really want to go (can you see that on my face) i got asked by a jr and well i couldn't say no. i could have but im a nice guy i guess. i shouldn't be, i could have stayed home that night and masturbated and painted or drew or whatever. obviously neither was that signifigant because i don't remember much about that night. goo had a bitchen lincoln town car 1972 and a kick ass video camera, so i made movies most of the night. god knows we didn't dance ( i only slow danced when i wasn't intoxicated and goo wasn't the gettin intoxicated kind ) gettin straights a's kind. im sure she is a doctor or something now, i should have stuck with that. sugar mama slipped through my hands. hi goo, you married yet?
also notice i am taller than my brother :D ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha he can still kick my ass though never won that battle but still i am taller and i don't have bird legs.

oh - lets make babies

i had a dream last night that i was a bad ass. there was this punk rock chick fucking with my scooter so i ran out there and started yellin at her, then like 8 punk rock dudes came over and the chick was laughing, so first things first i punched that bitch right in the fucking face (who's the punk rock hero now) then i took out the 2 dudes on my left then the 2 dudes on my right then jumped off the scooter headset and did a cool wheelhouse and took out the other 4, then the bloody faced bitch said something else so i gave it to her again. it was cool. then my scooter fell apart due to rust. then i was no longer a bad ass. then i watched my rusted scooter fade to peices in the rain. then i woke up and did laundry and other productive things. mondays RULE....
so im wondering?
will i someday be a badass? (i doubt that)
will i kick some punk rock ass? (prolly not that hard considering all the punk rockers these days are from the suburbs)
will my scooter rust away? (god i hope not)
will i ever get laid? (prolly not because i ride a scooter and not a MAN bike)
if i ever lose my right hand i think i will just have to kill myself with the left..
over and out and time to shout
I LOVE MONDAYS MORE THAN MY PEEPEE ok so maybe not that much - but i love em

blurp

its hard to be a punk in a $40000 car

i miss this dork

2 cups of coffee and i can smell the sunshine
its still cold though
hi
hello
how are you
no plans for the weekend
except shoot scooters
wow
you thought
i like scooters
i kind of do
but im sure after this
i will hate them
never fails
i shoot something too long
i get bored with it

im telling mommy

i saw them load a giant shuttle cock onto a flatbed truck with small crane the ducks didn't seeem so impressed, the strange man in the jaguar kept staring at my ankles im still working on that one

Lost My Key

i feel beatup today. scooter riding all night hurts ones body. got lots of pictures for the show though - so was a good night. now i am going to work.