
i like it when people who drive prius's - drive them like race cars. it makes me laugh and makes me feel good, because wow they spent all that money to get good gas mileage but them driving like an idiot makes it worse than my car. awesome.
thats my bitch for today now on with the bullshit.
im trying to think of a good story to tell - obviously i am going to go back in time here - the pictures on the floor elude to that fact plus the fucking title of the post. oh i got it - i once played one of the 3 little pigs in a play in preschool, i was the one with the stick house, so i had to run like a lil pig to the brick house when the woof blew my shit down. i didn't like the kid who was the wolf he was a punk (which i learned the socalled real definition of last night). my friend simon (yes he was real) was one of the other pigs but he got stage freight and could not finish so me and the other pig (a mean girl with PIG tails) had to take over -
improv as actors today call it. Our costumes were extremely realistic (paper plates with a stick glued to them and a pig face colored on them- i had very realistic googley eyes). So im not saying we invented improv that day back in 1980 but we came damn close. Me and mean pig tail girl and scared simon we did something magical on that stage. We brought new light to the 3 little pigs, i only wish VHS recorders would have been more popular and more affordable back in those days so i could show the world. I mean there are rumors about it all over Hollywood and Bollywood - they all know the story of the 3 little pigs. So i am famous and all that - we aren't officially creditted as being the inventors of it but i think its in the works, or so my agent tells me. Its because of this most powerful performance that in later years i had to play less subsequent parts. In first grade i was a tree in the christmas play i was a good tree though i stood so still even Sir Anthony Hopkins was moved. This roll lead to my breakout performance (uncredited of course because i like it that way but everyone knew it was me) ok so yes my breakout most special most greatest performace was in 1994 (i was 18) playing next too Jodie Foster and Liam Neeson in "Nell" I WAS THE "TEEINDAWINNN" Tree in the Wind (i was the story imoved like fluid, i was the tree in the wind, everytime that flashback comes up thats me. i caused those chills to run down your spine) i of course passed up the oscar that year. The coolest and most demanding movie i have done by far would have to be Sleepy Hollow in 1999 again i had to pull from my childhood experiences to be the Tree but this time a scary tree one that could give birth to a great headless man. Oh it was hard - i had nightmares for months. I stayed in the forest for over a year (i invented method acting too btw) i was that tree. Oh god i could go on and on for days. But i will not.