I THINK I AM RETARDED

little girl: (looking up at me) Wow Your Hardcore aren't you?
potty: Yeah i love to piss all over grandmas just for the fun of it
little boy: WOW that kicks ass!
potty: SHUTUP YOU LITTLE FUCK BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASS
little girl: (to little boy) lets go piss on grandma

ShapeFake

Already a busy morning and it feels like i just got here. Its just now starting to get cold and well cold sucks. THere is a baby crying somewhere. I can't get away from these things.
So i thought of a suitable way to punish George W. Each time a soldier dies he gets teabaged for 10 minutes and that gets put on every television station in the world. Of course he has a few thousand minutes to make up so like a whole week of him sitting there with balls on his forehead and the whole world watching. I think that might sink through (ball juice on the brain). So georgie if your listinin here comes my balls to your forehead. TEABAGGIN instead of BODYBAGGIN. Teabagging could totally end world suffering. INCREASE the peace TEABAG someone today....

ShopLifters of the WORLD

Well that was a lot of turkey. Birds i like birds, especially dead stuffed and cooked ones. Preferably with a side of potaotes and gravey. Now i just need a lil sunshine. I guess god is pissed at all us honkies for killing and eating all those fucking turkeys. I wonder how many turkey sandwiches are in lunchboxes and work refigerators around the world today. Im on a NTD no turkey died for the next few weeks. I OT'd.
WORD now that was fucking cool wasn't it. Im not really awake yet. I don't think anyway. Still in a driving home from iowa daze. Tornados n what not, i think i saw toto and dorthy fly over my fucking car. I saw up dorthy's skirt. THE OZ. Dude... I wonder if you can figure out what i am listening to this morning. If you can't then well your fucking STOOOPID. like a 10 ton truck you dumb fuck. Also it has nothing to do with turkey - me or the turkey baster i keep in the freezer. I will soon impregnate someone with my babyjuice... I would like to knockup 23 girls all on the same day. Now that would be cool. I would prolly need about 50-60 girls though that happen to be ovulating all at the same time and a few turkey basters. This may take some planning but i think its doable. I wonder if my insurance would drop me if i show up to the hospital with 23 pregnant ladies.

Whack-A-Mole

its a scooter day. thats about all i have to say. but of course you know me im going to keep talking shit until this lil brown box is full and then i feel like its enough to hit the lil publish button. plus i haven't said one cuss word or even mentioned my penis yet so fuckin hell i got aways to go. so riding scooters makes my peepee going BOING!!! notice the 3 exclamation points. can you say stiffffy... of course it is a lil bit cold so not so much on the second and third exclamation points... sometimes though its like i have a rudder... yeah a rudder... scooter porn. fuckn shit hell motherfuckin titty suckin twoballed bitch. had to get that out of my system.

its almost turkey day. if you where smart turkey you would run, run now. oh wait those bastards were prolly killed like months ago. poor turkeys. they have to make a day just to get people to eat you. i think we should have porksgivin, porkchops and applesauce. what the fuck am i talkin about I DONT KNOW. WHACK MY MOLE BITCH

Brain - - - WAKE UP WILL YOU

not really sure what the say today. hmmmmm... not much going on... turkey day is coming, i am going, exciting i tell you exciting. wow i truely have nothing to say.... hmmm... waiting... waiting... waiting for something to pop into my head, but nothing is there, just me, in my office, bangin away on this stupid keyboard waiting for my fucking brain to wake up.... hmmmmm.... i could use a drill to make a small hole in my head then i could get a #2 pencil and when i have these problems again i can just jam it in the hole and poke my brain a lil. i could also store raisins in there so if i ever need a snack, word... im off to home depot to get the right size drill bit. so if you were going to drill a hole in your head where would you put it. forehead, back of the head, behind the ear, the top in the middle, or make two and put horns in there. its a hard call really. im suprized that peircing ones head is not more popular.

ENTER = the shadow Monster

shhhhh.... the shadow monster is here. boogars and braincells thats what he's after. no wonder he likes kids, they have plenty of both. unaltered unstained brain cells. thats dope yope. the sun is harsh - not hot - shadows run deep, be careful when crossing the road today. shaodow monster will reach out and grab you. i saw a homeless man get swollowed up by the shadow of the bus, it spit out his stoppid raggedy hat then smiled... what does it mean????

dorkstick

yes this dork went to see harry potter last night at 10:30pm. yes this dork enjoyed it. yes this dork thought it was rad. yes this dork noticed all the differences between the book and the movie, but this dork didn't really care. yes this dork noticed how cold and drab it is today. yes this dork is doing nothing but playing on his computer all day long. measure that on your dorkstick. better yet measure that on my dorkstick. yes this dork is on my.space. no this dork really isn't looking to HOOK UP as they say. unless you have a gigawatt plug you want to connect to me. there for i can go back in time and save the world, or well at least get some quality vintage clothing. wait i don't even like vintage clothing. i just want to see if the air really tastes like honey and what my moms looks like in a poodle skirt.

enhance your anatomy [Spam]

I love to listen to shali bitch at some random stranger in the morning. Its great its funny. She will read this later and be like - i wasn't bitching i was just trying to get my fucking cord for my camera. I guess i will write about absolutely anything. So this morning it was cold in my room, cold room is not good for mornin wood, it makes it throb. Plus kitty kitty was in my bed all night long, until robin opened her door then she bolted for her room. Kitty kitty is an oportunist. She uses me when Robin or Tim are not around. Im not sure what her relationship with kyle is, whatever it is, its behind closed doors, he does have a kitty hole in his door, so she gets to go see him whenever. So maybe kyle is like the last resort to her... she's like fuck i could have kyle anytime... So why the hell am i writing abouta fucking cat that hates me - i don't know - why are you reading this - YOU DON'T KNOW. Since we are all so bored i think we should get 8 pounds of butter a shit load of plastic wrap some jello and get naked and play in it. We can move all the shit out of tims room and that can become THE BUTTER LOUNGE. Yank out the steps and put in a slide, the butter slide. Baby pool in the family room, fuck that big ass tv, turn the heat up to 90, make butter titty imprints on all the windows so they neighbors instantly want to come over and get all buttered up. Butter not margarine....

My Moms Paris Hilton Tape

Hump day - Hump alicious - I will hump your leg for like a dollar, maybe even FIDDY CENT. Wow i need to get like stronger coffee or something. Did you see these new AIM Robots. They are taking over i swear. They are like 15 minutes away from drilling a hole in your brain. BrainAOL... DrainAOL just jam a screwdriver in your head now and destroy your credit then they won't want you. So today if you want, come by my house and i will modify you. Then we can figure a way to BRING THE SYSTEM DOWN. That or i will enact my disapearing plan. I got a tunnel system the gooks would be envious of.

Grappling Hook

i still got a lot of stuff to write about but im tired today
i think yesturday more than made up for my 4 days off. i shall take pictures of my balls tonight just in case.

Damn that 70s Jungle Bush Porn

Well that was just a huge fucking pain in my ass. If your unaware of what i am talking about then obviously you didn't see the pictures. I never knew my ass could get so big. Oh shit no wait wrong story. The internet one. OH yeah.. PottyMouthPappy has been linked to Angelia Jole if only he could spell her name. Yes i am talking about myself in the 3rd person. How else do you talk about yourself. So yes the true story.
WHERE DID MY SITE GO TO. How come the rest of the crap on that shitty server doesn't come up. Ok steve one question at a time.
1st Kitty Kitty broke the fucking internet, pretty simple actually, she was pissed off because that thing she calls a daddy TIM hadn't been home in like a month and those other people she lives with, PAPPY in general don't feed her, i do but i like to make her work for it. There will be no fucking freeloading kitties in my house. I work that bitch like a house elf. So back to the program. She was pissed wanted to play solitare while i was gone but i changed all the system passwords (because i fucking can) but her tuna eatin ass wasn't havin that, she had a serious jones for some motherfucking solitare. GOD DAMN IM FEEELIN GOOD TODAY NO WHAMMIES. She tried a few different logins and passwords then got locked out of the system. She was like FUCK YOU INTERNET knocked off the side of the internet and took a big shit in the main system drive, she brought along some of her kitty litter too. Needles to say all that dirt and grit brought the aptrick internet to a complete screatching scratching halt, and one hell of a grin to Kitty Kitty's face. (the little bitch) She had planned this all along, like fucking Luke and the deathstar she knew exactly where to take her shit. If you have a cat you should just kill it now, for me.
ok now for question 2. so while i was laying in my bed sunday morning post masturbation bliss i decided i didn't need 37 websites anymore, i would go back to the roots, i picked aptrick, and of course this one because i am like an internet celeberity now because of it and well being linked to angelina jolie is pretty cool too. i just need some of her blood now. we talked about that on AIM last night. brad was in the other room so we had to be quite. instead of blood i am going to ship her kitty kitty.
So jesus fuckass thats a lot of writing, but i have missed you internet, especially the pictures, damn that 70s jungle bush porn in tims closet, i was actually starting to like it
- - For those otherpeople who have like email addresses n stuff on my server i need your gmail addresses so i can forward your stuff on. I am no longer in the hosting bidness, i do have backups of everything so don't freak, and i can help find a new home for your digital billships.

Greasy DIck's

Dicks makes greasy burgers and greasy fries
I like those guys
yummy in my tummy
for awhile anyway

You Wanna Touch IT

i swear i didnt do it.
the chair revolves
the revolver solves
faster than a speeding bullet
bullets speed
dumb
i don't want to be awake yet
why can't i wake up with an hour to spare and a bed full of hula girls
hell 15 minutes and a bed full of hula girls
faster than a speeding bullet
i love grapefruit
how about you???

Do YOU think he LIKES ME

Ouch i think my pinky is broken. I just jammed it in your EYEsocket. Plastic fork to come next. Turtle Pimps... So last night i listened to M83 for like 3 hours straight - i would have never thought that possible, and i didn't masturbate i for sure would have thought that never possible. I think something is wrong... Oh i know i know... Heads up 7-up... Quite Mouse - i like cheeese... I think thats it for me today, i will be sure to not listen to too much weird music tonight and jerk on it at least 7 times that way i will be normal tomorrow. HA i can only fucking dream.

I HATE SHALI's EmAIL program

Shali's email program beat me up. But then we teamed up put or go go cool kid power rings on and kicked that fucking computers ass. Steam was comin out the usb slots, the mouse was screamin UNCLE... UNCLE... we let em have it. Shali bit into the LCD screeen i hit the C (for cool kid power) key over and over and over and over. Shali lassoed the monitor with a power cord, i kicked over the speakers. The computer screemed at us to stop but it was too late. JUST CHECK THE FUCKING EMAIL ALREADY.. Shali yelled... Mr computer was like ok ok ok ok i will get your email... jeeez... She gave him one final smack then her email poped up and started coming in. She sneared at the monitor "Don't make me fucking do that again, because i will." The monitor shook with fear and nodded in aggreement and apppoliges came through the IM. I returned to my desk Cool KId Power Deactivate (my work here is done).....

BTW - Friday was rather awesome - the picture is from there. IF you didn't go be sure to run by the gallery and check it out sometime this month. Pictures will be up on aptrick shortly. Over and Out jimbo

I Poke You = You POKE me

TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT
be there or not
if i see you i see you
:D
bye gotta go puke now

Jesus Periscope

i think i will get orca fat now...
753 pounds here i come...
grits and tits...
hot dogs and cheese logs...
candy is dandy...
sugar is great...
tight leather underwear is even better
i can't wait until i have an ass

MY HEAD = Regular Size

wow i don't feel like i am going to explode well my big head anyway. i had sinusesesss. i need to move to a place where there is no issues with me and my head and the weather. not too cold not too hot and not too many people and good things to take pictures of and a sugar mama to support me and damn this is never gonna happen. oh well. hump this its hump day.

El Nuvembrodo

im dizzy times 6 - not sure why - no i didn't do any drugs or drink all night long. i did have papa johns though and some candy - not lots though...
i should just eat myself into a sugar comoa but the lil draculas took all the good candy. damn you robin for being so passive with the candy. those little kids cleaned her out, they saw it in her face - she's nice we can get all the candy.... I WANT CANDY...