so here we are

im so excited - well no not really - i don't have emotions
just one - i laugh when i make fun of YOU and your MOM and how she goes to college... other than that. who cares really. nobody reads this thing anyway if they do they got fuckin problems especially if they read it daily... another day another stupid post... one day i shall say something of interest and importance then right after that i will prolly die, yeah that sounds like it, i will die... 3 periods and im done...

Climb In My Basket

I put a basket on my scooter for this very reason. You never know when you will be running aliens along the border and need to make a quick get away. Beam me up FeT thats ET's fat brother then there is eT2 his older meaner brother and MeT his hooker sister and TeT his militant lesbian sister. And we could go on and on and on but the real moral of this story is bring me some recesses peices. i know i didn't spell that right, its because i neeed a bag to look off of. Jeez. I used all the rest of mine last night when i was making a trail through the woods trying to catch little boys looking for aliens. "WANT SOME CANDY???" They are so easy. Tim the master taught me, he uses a jungle jucie concoction but i find injected candy to be much easier. Of course you have to be careful they don't eat too many, the chubby ones need a few extra but the skinny ones you got to watch 3 and they are out for 9-15 hours. Thats plenty of time to phone up ET and have him drop down a beam and pick them up. What you think i wanted to touch some little kid. They are contaminated with germs and whine a lot. I send their little playstation playin asses to space. ET pays big money for lil kids, especially lil white ones. I think he has a deal going with Michael Jackson something about his moon planet. He moon walks YO.

Sexy Boy

someone has my eerie indiana box set - TIM is that you??? I need elvis on my paper route. I just want a paper route. Today i just want to work at kwik chek and have a paper route and a bike with a huge basket fuck cars they are dumb. I think i will move to a 3rd world country and just ride a bike and sell shit to tourists, babies or something, i wish i was a female i would be popin money out left and right, golden eggs. Time to solve a mystery scooby doo style.

The Shower Scene

someone buy me a new imac with 20 inch rims. me love you long time. i need one of those with a terabyte of storage. and thats all oh yeah and one of those sweet ass new epson printers. i need someone to pay me too, to sit around and write on here all day and blogger and play on deviantart. so like if you need a live in hall monitor/boyfriend let me know. i will begin to take applications and make my selection according to how much you will pay me. so all you rich chicks/dudes get those bank statements and health cards ready. i just want something - something for nothing.

Sippy Cup III

the problem i am having this morning is that coffee doesn't seem to be working. i want that jolt that kick. not happenin. either im that tired or this coffee just sucks.

Something bit my neck.

Clompy SHOES...

COPY COPY COPY

who we ever met and who we ever missed
your mom is in the trenchcoat mafia
she smuggles baked goods into the caf
HO MADE donuts in the boys bathroom
dust in the tiles
no isles
im out for the day
smell me its great

dawn of the sunflower

how you like kansas now.

pissant

im still waiting for my coffee to kick in so i can make up some bullshit thig morning. its not working. damn the rain - it just makes me want to sleep. So yeah. Hi im cool, how are you. You wanna go on a date tonight. I want to go snog at the movies. SNUGGLE THEN SNOGGLE THEN SHAGGLE. then a baggle with cream cheese for breakfeast. We can smoke PCP in the bathroom and lead KCPD on a chase they will never forget, i will video the whole thing so when i send you out the car and they beat the shit out of you i will get it all on tape, and you will see how handsome your ass is when it hits the concrete, what your blood looks like, and how many Cherrios i can stick up your nose while your passed out. God i love life. I wish we would have a flood of biblical proportions. I just want to float down the street in my new orange swimsuit with a beer in my hand holdin my nuts. "YO MAN WASSUP" IT would be like a float trip. Yeah. Rain delay. Me and your daddy smoked hash then made out with your mom. It was great she wore bowling shoes the whole time, i kept saying STRIKE and touching your dads balls. It was grand. Now it time for the clouds to roll in and the rain to start. Can i get some lightinin over here. Yeah thats it. Ima put my floaties on and stock the cooler just in case. SWEEEET RAIN

Solvent vs. Lowfish Remix

One day when i am crazy and living out of this station wagon you can give me a bacon sandwich and some coffee and of course markers so i can draw on the world. PICTURE PAGES PICTURE PAGES. (see what i learned from tv) Or even SIMON come on he drew on everything and the things he drew came true. HELLO MY NAME IS SIMON AND THE THINGS I DRAW COME TRUE. I loved that show. He drew on the fence great big monsters but they were nice in a where the wild things are kind of way. I wanted that. I wanted to run through the woods at night with nice monsters in my footy pajamas. I went to the woods one night but there were no nice monsters there, just the 24 robbers waiting in the bushes to come knocking on my door. I did see an Owl (hold the harry potter jokes right there biootch). HOOT HOOT he was eating tootsie pops and talking to a mouse,can you say PAYOFF... And people wonder why this world is so marked up. Its decoration. Simon and Bill Cosby put us up to it. Hello my name is Pappy and the things i draw are HAPPY. WOW now thats gay. HEY my pictures SUCK big YMCA gay dick.
so new topic... or maybe i will just stop there... ok im done...

MixitupMixTape

BULLSHIT i can't wake UP (the Title)
(get out your markers and a 60Min tape)
Side A (no morning wood side)
1. Telepop Musik - Don't Look Back
2. Ms. John Soda - I Think It Could Work Marylin
3. The Ravenettes - Love In A Trash Can
4. Tricky - Hell is Around the Corner
5. Midwest Product - Reminder
6. Teenage Fanclub - Its all in my Mind
7. Cut Copy - Saturdays (REPRISE)
Side B (sleep goo)
1. Tiefswarz - Fly
2. Solvent - My Radio (Schneider TM Mustang Remake)
3. Erlend Øye & Phonique - For the Time Being
4. !!! - Dear Can
5. The Fruit Bats - Spelled in Bones
6. Her Space Holiday - Japanese GUM
7. The New Pornographers - Bleeding Heart Show

I hope you Enjoy I am right now...

I LIK MAK CORRECT CAL - U HOM

One day i call you - we can have phone sex, or just talk about the weather. Then when we are done i will use handi wipes to clean the phone, then clean myself = I AM DIRTY. I like lucky charms - but i like to pick out the marshmellowy ones then mix it up with sugar and kool-aid followed by a 2 litter of mt dew and a family size box of milk duds. Im not fat YO. I just like to eat. That is like the most common diet for 6 yr old these days. Coke and Pepsi paid of the government to redo the 4 food groups - now its a pyrimid that has Coke and Pepsi branded at the bottom. Fucking dorritos fit in the new system baby. They are no longer just the cheese group. I really have no idea what the fuck i am talking about here i am just ramblin. But hey what else is new i just like to talk or type really. I don't talk your fucking ear off unless im drunk and i already know you. I will just nibble if i don't know you.
So im listening to Cheap Trick - One on One today. We had this baby on vinyl and used to play it on the Ficsher Price record player and dance around like retards. Jumpin on our beds in footy pajamas with stormtroopers on them. OH YEAH...

And We Remove the Hole

They pulled it out all sugar coated and sticky. Smelled like watermelons pineapples and gumi bears all mixed together. After they closed me up we sat down and ate it. It was great. Mom made the gravey. Dad made the stuffing. Summer did the carving. It was delicious down to the last morsal which Scuba the dog finished off for us, leaving a small big of gravey for Cletus the hippo to have. We work great as a family. Our Tonka trucks are hybrids. We only play in organic sand. Our toys are made in sweat shop free factories using biodigradible materials. And i still can't spell.
i got new shoes with my art fair money and i had fun. no goobers. My Mr.T lunchbox was filled with pennys. I was unsure what to do. I've never had more than $20 before. It was like wow im rich. Here have a roll of pennys on me baby. Buy yourself a generic soda. Well i think i have shared my soul enough today. Whats left of it anyway. Playmobil will remove that shit for 1327 pennies.

It ALL RUNS together

its sunday and it all runs together on sunday. my body hurts. my wallet is full (thanks to those who purchased stuff from me at the Rivermarket Art Fair)
Things to do today.
Ride Scooter
Get Coffee
Deliver Picture to JIM
See ALBEE
Ride Scooter
Eat Some Food
Get Mail ready for tomorrow (deposits & netflix)
Clean off work computer (it has 119 megs left of 40 gigs)
Pay Bills (online)
Book Store Inspiration (look at photo books and magazines)
Enjoy the Beautiful Day
Take some Pictures
Get to work on Novel (so jenny doesn't kill me, sorry for the 2month lapse)

Space Is the PLACE

So HI...

Ain't that a cool picture. I thought so too.

HI AGAIN...

I feel so much better today. Its amazing what a night full of playstation, cookies, ice cream and masturbation can do for you. I feel totally recharged. I shate the demons out. *Looks in toilet before flushing* "BYE DEMONS!! BYE DEMONS!! DON'T WRITE!! I FUCKING HATE YOU!!! BYE!!!" *FLUSH*

Its a great day for a scooter ride let me tell you. I didn't even need coffee this morning that cool air woke me the fuck up. Was great i tell you. Nothing like doing 58mph down main street flyin by buses n shit. If i ever die on that thing you know i was smilin and havin fun just before the MAX took me out. (MAX is the new KC buses - they roll deep - like 9 gangsters in a Impala).

So this Saturday COME to the River Market Art Fair and SEE ME and BUY STUFF... Of if you want to come by the house saturday night and join me for cookies and masturbation that would be ok too. Bring your gloves and some chocolate chips. *FLUSH*

Comment SPaM

I have most of the pictures up for the PMP project you can check that out at thepmpproject.com if your into it. The design part will come when i get some extra time.

||||||||||The Rain Drops||||||||| (thats rain btw)
there are people in my space today - working on something hell i don't know - i just don't like people making noise near me... especially in the morning. so yeah i was just kind bitchy yesturday IM still doin that damn art show this weeekend so if your in town KANSAS CITY that is come on down to the RiverMarket Art Fair i will give you a big kiss anywhere you want it and some salt water taffy. The kiss will cost ya though depending where on your body you want it. I will whorin my art work and my body so cum on down and buy some stuff or a stiff.

Does this make any damn sense?

I Can't Be Mean

Im in this im taking a break mode thing
I want to do nothing
especially after work
i want to sit around my house and get fat
root beers and hot pockets all around
i decided not to do the art show thing this weekend
i need to sleep and be lazy instead
so for the next month or so dont bother me
i don't care if your computer is broken
or you got the wrong ingredients
ive been told to say NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO and NO some more
yeah so thats that i guess
ooooh maybe i will become a pot head for a week or two that sounds kinda like fun, chessie bread here i come

It Gets Louder - I Get Later

The toys are all knocked over, the desk is askew. No darts in the dartgun, no pez in the new furry dispenser. Bert and Ernie keep sleeping, the troll doll army keeps grooming. The clouds are dark and heavey and need to piss. I rolled out of bed thinking i was early to find out i was late.
Monsters all around - - - they can use the phone now - - - they have adapted.
Dial with claws
Dialtone with teeth
Ring the ringling
Godzilla likes chocolate better than humans
He is a total fag
Long green tail with a bow on it

8 Voice Mail Messages

Weird Weekend - - - Solar Flares - - - 9/11 - - - Too much to drink
toss in a blender with weird dreams - - - somekind of weird chest cold - - - too much playstation - - - not enough masturbation - - - slow internet connections - - - 1 hour 32 min Interpol Set (which was good) - - - French Dip sandwiches - - - Lunch at LAFONDA - - - Dr. Pepper - - - Dust in my face - - - Six Feet Under (series one) - - - I still need to sleep - - - Kitty Kitty driving me crazy - - - my work space a mess - - - some fucking art show nextweekend - - - some people need to learn to make up their own minds - - - why ask me for advice IM FUCKIN NUTS :D oh well - - -
so far monday has started out ok GO
Looking at the world through Tired EYES
But at least i had no angry dreams last night
Looks like it might rain but thats ok i got a rain coat and rubbers.

FRUITY O'S

This will do the trick. Twitch - Twitch - Twitch - Mother FUckin Titty SUckin Two Balled Bitch. Twitch - Twitch - Twitch - Twitch. Brain GLITCH....

What was your favorite color of hungry hungry hippo?
Who really was the boss?

This device could perform faster if it was plugged into a 2.0 port. Thats late night sex talk in a computer nerds house. Hmmmm (my house) if i got laid.

My house would be - Device Unknown - Please reinstall or just break it off.

Kyle has a Costco size box of Fruit Loops - that sucker is big. Takes up half the kitchen took a fork lift to get it in the house. Kitty Kitty sits on top of it laughing. "NOW WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU NEED SO MANY FRUITY O'S"

"For necklaces... DUH!!!" I swear Kitty Kitty just isn't so smart sometimes. Well got to run the milk truck will be here shortly.

I Wear A Cape

I like to climb buildings. I like to snore loudly. I like pudding pops. I like cheeze whiz and crackers. I like hippos (they are the best animal in the animal kingdom). I like HotWheels (but after a few hours of play they get boring). If i had a fish in a fishbowl i would name him/her Willie. I had a cactus named Arnie. I had a cactus named Steve. I had a cactus named Tamkia. I had a couch named Crouch. I had a lamp named Lampy. I had a lamp named Twiggy (he was my favorite lamp). I used to have some friends too. I kept them in my pocket way too long. They melted. I had to use an old toothbrush to scrape them out. My mommy was mad. I made a mess. I just cut the pocket out. That is quite a nice thing. You can play with your weener and nobody even knows.

Devin Dazzle

if you have any thoughts on how to get me organized please let me know
kaoss is how is how i function lately
nothing in its right place
maybe thats the key to the universe
well im going to go play with my penis
at least thats in the right place

Bottom of the Blue

I hate when i come back from a vacation and it feels like everything has changed but in reality it hasn't. The old becomes new once again. The things that annoyed before you left are still there. The things you loved seem different and new again. Scooter ride to work this morning was orgasmic. Alarm clock screaming in my ear this morning wasn't so orgasmic. My bed -SUPER GREAT. My work computer - STILL PISSING ME OFF TO NO END. LUNCH - sounds good. Now im hungrey. I can't wait. Its good to be home, but was good to see all the family.

I Shall Return - I Think

One of the most comoonly asked questions this week.

(them)So you ever gonna give up that city life and move back here?

(me)I think castration using crayons sounds like more fun...

packing up the car as i type, yes i multitalented. one of the great things about this place now - FREE WIRELESS - some of the neighbors know nothing about security.

ahhh yaah yaay ah ya yeeeh

thats what baby-D says when he's gettin ready

I Rocked In the 80's

I wanna be that cool again. I doubt it will ever happen though. But maybe one day. Ima bring back the double swatch and tripple swatch. I will be cool. I will be cool. I will be on vacation. HA I AINT GOT TO WORK TODAY HA HA HA HA HA.... But i have to go to backwards ass caruthersville -- - - so ha ha ha ha to me. FUCKA... im out long drive - music ready.