Hollywood on my Toothpaste

its slippery and dark today. i kind of like it. woke up in the middle of one of those dreams, damn those alarm clocks for ruining those dreams. still not awake yet. so this weekend i get to play a greaser or punk or something like that i can't remember what he wants us to look like. ill have the photos soon, maybe it won't be a mock porno movie and i can show my mommy. she didn't like that one too much.

SmUggLin

i smuggled pottymouthpappys illegal cousins wife talrazza across the border in to this fine country, her and 25 of her brothers and sisters all fit in the back of this truck. we made a b-line for mcdonalds some of them got jobs the others got lunch, then i collected my reward (7 personal endentured sex slaves) and drove on home for a little fun. im so sore im sore in sore spots i didn't know i had.

time for something new

So i got tired of those old ass busted images i've been posting. yes my phone is not the best camera in the world. SO FUCK THAT SHIT. Time for some purdy pictures. Today i give you my penis, yes you can have it. No but fo-real just from now on better Image Quality. I hate my phone anyway especially when it rings. So today we are making mixed drinks out ya mama's douche bag i stole last night after my midnight visit. You want a squirt.

SWEET JUMP - - - - -

i used this to jump 6 cars and 8 buses then about a dozen giraffes and a hamster. it was so sweet. me and my scooter AIRBORNE. You fuckin know how we do. Dukes of Hazard style n shit. Later tonight we're gonna add another brick or rock and then im gonna jump over a 47 story building, with flames shooting out of my ass. It will be so cool i can't wait to show my mom the video tape from the helmet cam. She will be so happy, it will be just like that day i made it out of kindergarden after the second attempt, damn those lines in the coloring books they used to taunt me. FUCK THEM i will color anywhere i damn well please. On the table, on the floor, on the bathroom wall, (they didn't know i could spell FUCK YOU back then), i was the worlds first bogger. I wrote about all the bitches in my class that i wanted to fuck and how the teacher had saggy titties, all on the bathroom wall. It was great, i heard somewhere that it was published in Europe but i never got a check, just a used sack of post war potatoes. Your wondering right now how that is possible, IT IS. Just take my word for it i don't LIE. I gots to go grease up my wheels and my weenie for tonights big jump and all the bitches that come after you make the big jump. You should see the line that is forming already. Its like a Hanson concert out there i tell you.

Signal Strength : VERY GOOD

i got a list a mile long. i got a mile a list long. i mile a long list. i long mile list. got long mile. mile list. list. li. l. yeah and then some. how you doin today out there the one person that does read this. i love you. let me hump your leg in graditude for reading part of this. or just coming here and bein like wow this site sure looks fucking gay, wow this guy's pictures suck so much ass it could be the queen of gay prison porn. i like some syrup. mmmmmm mmmm mmmm. now fuck off and have a great shit fuckin day. don't blame me if your car blows up and you loose a thumb. i didn't fuckin do it. i was busy sleeping and masturbating or the other way around. or both, fuckit. i sleepjerkit

there's a shipwreck down there

i wanna learn to scuba so i can find me a shipwreck. i wanna get a metal detector so i can find me a treasure. i wanna win the lottery so i never have to wake up early again. i have no problem doing nothing. its great actually.

the switch

why is everything so intense today
im totally gonna go pump gas

potty on monday = YAY!!!

the coffee is bitter, but needed
im half asleep and its morning
today will be a good day = for you and me

im on FIRE

its sunday everybody run to church day
go tell jesus you love him
he likes you too....
ain't he cute that JESUS

can you dig it

so whats goin on tonight?
who wants to moleste me?
- - - -- - - - - - - -
poop
doop
loop
goop
snoop - doggy dog

somedays i believe

be·lieve ( P ) Pronunciation Key (b-lv)
v. be·lieved, be·liev·ing, be·lieves
v. tr.
1. To accept as true or real: Do you believe the news stories?
2. To credit with veracity: I believe you.
3. To expect or suppose; think: I believe they will arrive shortly.

crash your methlab

so this one time at band camp a methlab crashed into my yard. it was pretty cool. it was no where near my pussy though. my tuba is still in there. HONK HONK HONK.

milk maid (touch my teeet)

i got a wild headed troll doll that rides in my trunk. she smells like gas and screams when i accelerate. she loves it. i love it. its a great day = sunshine. after the damn monsooooon we just had 33 days strait of FOOKING RAIN. ok so like a week but it sucks wet wet wet wet wet wet. FUCK OFF RAIN - GO BACK TO YOUR HOME.... YEah this is pointless but so is life, so lick my nuts, its all the same.

twice = 2 x times

weird morning. brought in all my computers but i forgot all the power cords. got some allergy medicine but forgot my door keys. weird. was a wreck in the intersection right in front of me. i was spacing though - good thing he would have hit me too if i wasn't sitting at that stop light like a dumbass trying to figure out what track i wanted to hear on my way to work this morning. which incedentally was The Hacker - Sequence Life.

DOMINO MOTHERFUCKER

i was going to write something clever but it escaped me.
im drinkin coke and i just woke up
my hair is wet my shoes are tied
i like to blogger blogger
cocopuffs are the shit

my radio

i watched the rain last night
it was great
then i got bored

i like guinea pigs

word to ya moms - tell that bitch that god gave us guinea pigs - so break out a shoe box and some wood chips and get your guinea pig on - stink up your house because god said so - or just do the evil gay devil thing and jam it up your ass - you see its not about pleasure its a smack to the face of god

Go Check

my hood G
i need to drink some more coffee
because for once i can't think of anything to say
or write - type you know what the fuck im talkin about
so instead i will just ramble, type to fill up this little
gray box. he is my friend. he likes what i have to say.
he pats my back after i hit the publish button, now
thats power. 1 trillon people could read this ---
but they won't. maybe 2 if i am lucky. so hi to the
two people who read this.

six - six 6-6

it was required by law that i take a few days off
officer raskin made me do it
but i am back black and about to attack
well all but the black part anyway
its nice today actual scooter mileage 1119.3
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK have to reach my potty minimum for the day

Six-Three

blah blah blah blah - blaaaa blaaa blaaaa
its all bla bla bullshit any fucking way blah blah
i can't wait until i am dirt - i will kill flowers

wilsons disposal

i feel like the old guy that bitches
"LEAVE ME ALONE I HAVEN'T HAD MY COFFEE YET"
Whenever your sitting at work, do you have the
uncontrolable urge to touch yourself - - - -
I DO I DO
Scooby Doo touches himself too

go get some cake

its june coon
sweet
rain = jesus and or god up above poorin out a lil for the homies